The Plight of carbonferum

The Plight of carbonferum

Ok, this was inspired by “The Speaker of  the Dead” by Orson Scott Card.
Yeah, I know. I’m weird.


carbonferum is my friend. Over the course of approximately 3 years, I got to know him quite well. And I understood his plight. carbonferum is suffering, he wants something that he doesn’t have. He is in a plight because the thing he wants, he inadvertently and unknowingly prevents himself from achieving. It is ironic. It is sad.

carbonferum believes in knowledge. He believes it as a matter of faith. He nevertheless, does not agree with me. He thinks his belief in knowledge is somehow “justified” without actually trying to justify it at all. I have probed him to get him to explain his source for his belief in knowledge. He gives vague answers, then leads off-topic. I catch him, he merely shuts up. He does not seem to be even sure of what he means by knowledge. He spends a lot of time reading factual texts. And he takes pride in understanding and recalling them.

Yet he contradicts himself. Let me give you an example. carbonferum has long been interested in Physics. And in school, when the teacher is teaching a certain topic. We would, since we would already very quickly understood what was taught, discuss the current topic in more detail. As I have stated, he takes pride in understanding and recalling facts. So what he would do is bring up quite a number of facts, mostly in the form of  “Did you know…?”. I am more interested in the meaning and significance of facts. I like to observe how the teacher teaches the students in our class. The futility of the method employed. The passive way the students received the teachings. I was sad and frustrated in the lack of true understanding and misunderstanding of the subject and the purpose of it being taught. Then of course, I will voice my opinion to carbonferum, who would then use what I have said to make some statements that, to him, supposedly justify his interest in facts. But always, and frustratingly so, he would, in his enthusiasm, totally miss my point. He would then criticize the others for not being able to understand what the teacher was teaching. He would the criticize their lack of reading. Then he would ask a friend of ours, petersp88, a physics question resembling “Do you know what is a photon?”. And then petersp88 would say that he don’t know. Then carbonferum would shake his head as if petersp88 did something sad. And say something like, “Why do you, in your obsession with grades, neglect general knowledge?”. From this, you can see that carbonferum considers knowledge of what is a photon, general knowledge.

Now let me take you to Biology class. We would be studying a lot of names of an organism’s or its constituents’ parts. And a lot of Greek derived or Greek names would be used. He would then rant on the pointlessness of studying biology. I would then bring back what he said in Physics class; something like “You said that knowledge of what a photon is is general knowledge”. Then I would ask him why some things in biology are not general knowledge too. Then I would tell him that all the things he considered general knowledge, he already knows, and takes pride in knowing. And yet he complains about biology simply because he does not like it. He would then either by changing the topic or shutting up, ignore what I just said.

carbonferum’s performance in school is moderate. But since meeting me, his exam results have been getting worse. Yes, I did influence him, but not intentionally. You see, I am the kind of person who can easily understand what is being taught in school. Unfortunately, I’m not that kind of person who excels or even does well in school. Now, why is that? People never seem to understand why.

I don’t know since when, but as I grew up, I began to question the things I have so easily accepted when I was young. I threw, without hesitation, away those beliefs I held that I consider to be unjustified. I sought to address the inconsistencies that seem to pop out into my notice everywhere where I had not noticed them before. I sought coherence in life. And I was in the Malaysian school education system. Things naturally would go bad. There came to point where I did not care about school, I didn’t do homework, I never studied. But instead, I began intensive study on my own. But that is my story. Lets get back to carbonferum.

carbonferum was unconsciously influenced by my “laziness”. That happened because carbonferum sorta think I am “better” than “the others”. Now carbonferuem is a selfish and arrogant person, although he does not seem to be aware of it. He therefore has few friends. That is how he inadvertently got influenced by my “laziness”. So his grades plumetted. Being the proud man he is, he had to come up with an excuse for that. And so, he began using my arguments against the education system, for himself.

Now carbonferum fell in love with a girl. But when he confessed his feelings to her, she aggresively rejected him. They were once friends, but after that incident, she wouldn’t even talk to him anymore. carbonferum was really hurt, and he tried again and again to win her back without really understanding why she rejected him in the first place. Neither did he understand why everyone dislikes him. Sometimes he tries to help others, but he does this in a condescensing manner. And he doesn’t even notice his true motives for helping people, which is to merely satisfy his ego, his “justification” for his obsession with facts.

carbonferum wants to feel special, he thinks that he is superior in intellect to others.

That is why carbonferum is in plight. I have no idea how to help him. No matter how I advice him, he either don’t seem to get it, or is too stubborn to listen. I am now asking help from anyone: is there a way to help carbonferum?